Letting Go.....
Letting Go. Can I just say I am terrible at letting go? Really of anything. When I think about my 'yogic journey,' my "yogic path" I always come back to this: Letting go.
I need to learn to let go of so many things - let's see...
1) I need to learn that when B freaks out anytime he doesn't get his way, it is not my 'fault.' It is B being two. It is B being the product of two very emotional people. But it is 'okay' - I need to let go of the 'guilt.'
2) I need to learn that when there is a question, concern or problem at preschool coop - just because I am the Chair of the board - it is not always my 'fault' or really my problem. I need to let go of trying to carry the whole burdon. no one is expecting me to... I do this to myself.
3) I need to learn that when my DH is not happy with his job - it is not my role to 'fix it.' It is also not my 'fault' he is unhappy. I need to let go of the pressure and guilt.
4) I need to learn to let go of 'friends for seasons' when the season is over. And when that happens, I need to remember, it is not just me and my fault the friendship didn't last forever. It is just the way of some friendships. I need to let go without pain and burdon.
5) I need to learn to accept that I am not perfect. I am trying. Trying my best to be the best person, best friend, best wife and most of all best mom, I can. And I need to learn to let go of any guilt that I am not perfect. I need to just be me in the best way I possibly can. I need to let go....
I need to learn to let go of so many things - let's see...
1) I need to learn that when B freaks out anytime he doesn't get his way, it is not my 'fault.' It is B being two. It is B being the product of two very emotional people. But it is 'okay' - I need to let go of the 'guilt.'
2) I need to learn that when there is a question, concern or problem at preschool coop - just because I am the Chair of the board - it is not always my 'fault' or really my problem. I need to let go of trying to carry the whole burdon. no one is expecting me to... I do this to myself.
3) I need to learn that when my DH is not happy with his job - it is not my role to 'fix it.' It is also not my 'fault' he is unhappy. I need to let go of the pressure and guilt.
4) I need to learn to let go of 'friends for seasons' when the season is over. And when that happens, I need to remember, it is not just me and my fault the friendship didn't last forever. It is just the way of some friendships. I need to let go without pain and burdon.
5) I need to learn to accept that I am not perfect. I am trying. Trying my best to be the best person, best friend, best wife and most of all best mom, I can. And I need to learn to let go of any guilt that I am not perfect. I need to just be me in the best way I possibly can. I need to let go....
posted by JL @ 1:25 PM
4 Comments:
At 3:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
My dear, dear JL,
Your words are words of encouragement to all of us, because each and every one of us struggles striving for perfection in our own ways. You are all too correct in identifying the necessity to 'let go,' BUT to press on to do our best at any given thing and at any given time, because that is truly all we can ask of ourselves. We are not perfect and we never will be, because to be perfect is to be divine and that is left only for God himself. That does not mean that we should not always be working toward perfection, because in all sincerity that is what directs us to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. So, my prayer for you is that you never lose hope, but find the 'fruits' listed above motivation enough to continue on your journey, looking toward the creation of more memorable and maturing life experiences. The fact that you have considered these struggles and you can see the ways in which they make you a better wife, mother, friend, daughter and sister should be encouraging.
I love you.
~erica
At 8:20 PM,
Karen said…
Hey JL. I love you just the way you are. You shouldn't feel bad or guilty or responsible for things you can't control.
oh yah.... and I am a long-term friend... not a seasonal one... you're stuck with me. HUGS!
- K
At 10:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
Your words will strike a familiar chord with many. "Ironically", I am beginning a Bible study next Friday, titled "Mothering without guilt". Childcare is provided. You up for joining? Fridays, 9:30-11:30 here. Think about it...
At 12:06 AM,
Bek said…
Gosh - your post hits SO close to home for me. Could have written most of it myself. Those are good things for me to aspire to as well! You're great JL - just they way you are!
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